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Songbirds tumbled from her ears
and swept down the cliff-edges in her hair
to swoop away and out - out of the way
of the turbulence of her drowning -
they skipped across the ripples in the lake
and dodged the mountainous willow leaves,
cuttling out of dodge, as Ophelia wept.

The nest dissolved, feathers strewn
like starlight to halo her descent
into the swamps of happy mouths
laughing and clapping water
into happy tide and tidings that ring out
and clamour until stuck fast in muddy death,
Lap-lap-lapping applause, as Ophelia slept.
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:iconlegolaspanther:
It took me a while to really digest this poem. First it is very well done and the images within it are amazing! Both a mixture of mourning and narrative, thus adding to the originality of this work.

Just a single area of technique that I felt needed something though. The last line of the first stanza seemed out of flow with the rest for example.

In summation, I'm going to have to say, that this poem is very well done. It offers a different view of Ophelia from Hamlet, and I love it! Keep it up Kathryn!

Sincerely

~Legolas~
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like this. Ophelia is one of my favorite characters, and this is such a lovely poem. :D 
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
Aw thank you!!
Reply
:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
amazing!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Thanks!
Reply
:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconbruiseviolet01:
BruiseViolet01 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
Such beautiful imagery...
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Oh thanks :)))
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You can really hear the sound of water in the last line of the poem. Also, I love me an allusion to Hamlet!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
Me too :giggle: Thank you honey!!
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :heart:
Reply
:iconsilentxoxscramer:
SilentxoxScramer Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
The imagery in this poem is absolutely astounding. I loooove it. 
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
:D! Thank you so so much!
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014   Writer
Muffin can't you siphon some talent and send it my way?
Pretty please...Come quick 
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
:giggle: Silly!
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:iconbabykichy:
BabyKichy Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I know right?
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014   Writer
It's really unfair for someone to have so much talent and not share...;P
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:iconbabykichy:
BabyKichy Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I hear you there, honey.

But life, it's like the dark, you don't know what to expect, you don't know what's lurking around the corner, but if you really want something, you grin and bear the immense pit of fear your heart and mind wallows in, you walk it out and find the light.
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014   Writer
Amen brother/sister!
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:iconbabykichy:
BabyKichy Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd be a sister.
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:iconmagicaljoey:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014   Writer
Excellent knowledge - I put both in there because I know how much being called 'him' annoys me.
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:iconbabykichy:
BabyKichy Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I don't really mind, it's when people per ounce my name wrong that annoys me, but I gotta live with that.
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(1 Reply)
:iconelianoretta:
elianoretta Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
ooh, I love this one!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
Thank you!
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Professional Writer
Absolutely lovely, with a touch of metaphoric genius and imagery that knocked my socks off... :wow:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
:blush: Thanks!
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Professional Writer
Very welcome my friend.  One of my favorites from you...
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
:love:!
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:iconlegolaspanther:
LegolasPanther Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I need to think on yours before I critique it :-) You good with that? :-)
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
Sure :giggle: 
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
Great poem. I love it :)
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
Hooray! Thanks :D
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
GhostOfTheEmptyGrave Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconthelastwhiterose85:
TheLastWhiteRose85 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Whoa for a second dA wasn't even showing a reply box. Holy CRAP this is beautiful and speaks much of pain and the way you escape it is unique was what I gathered. You are an amazing artist and I always appreciate it once I slow down and enjoy it.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
gosh thank you :rose:
Reply
:iconthelastwhiterose85:
TheLastWhiteRose85 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Beautifully done, Kathryn, wow.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
:ashamed: thank you
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
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