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Submitted on
January 7
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Songbirds tumbled from her ears
and swept down the cliff-edges in her hair
to swoop away and out - out of the way
of the turbulence of her drowning -
they skipped across the ripples in the lake
and dodged the mountainous willow leaves,
cuttling out of dodge, as Ophelia wept.

The nest dissolved, feathers strewn
like starlight to halo her descent
into the swamps of happy mouths
laughing and clapping water
into happy tide and tidings that ring out
and clamour until stuck fast in muddy death,
Lap-lap-lapping applause, as Ophelia slept.
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:iconlegolaspanther:
It took me a while to really digest this poem. First it is very well done and the images within it are amazing! Both a mixture of mourning and narrative, thus adding to the originality of this work.

Just a single area of technique that I felt needed something though. The last line of the first stanza seemed out of flow with the rest for example.

In summation, I'm going to have to say, that this poem is very well done. It offers a different view of Ophelia from Hamlet, and I love it! Keep it up Kathryn!

Sincerely

~Legolas~
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really like this. Ophelia is one of my favorite characters, and this is such a lovely poem. :D 
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
Aw thank you!!
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
amazing!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Thanks!
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:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome!
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:iconbruiseviolet01:
BruiseViolet01 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014
Such beautiful imagery...
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2014
Oh thanks :)))
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:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You can really hear the sound of water in the last line of the poem. Also, I love me an allusion to Hamlet!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
Me too :giggle: Thank you honey!!
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