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Submitted on
September 9, 2013
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652 bytes


839 (2 today)
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That afternoon, under a burnt croatian sun,
we flaked our protective shells away
exposing the pink, raw vulnerability
that hid beneath our flanks and fortitude.
We delved systematically into nervousness
and chewed reflectively on our inner cheeks
as self conscious anxiety grew wildfire
across the too-bright landscape of our love.
The bones bleached and brittle, they broke,
and we could not stay together without them.
I don't regret opening my heart to the skies;
what I regret is never getting it back.

♥ Kathryn O'Driscoll © 2013

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it is a pretty good poem. you can get an idea of what it is about without actually about, with it directly being said in the poem. I loved the diction. I love how you had to read the whole thing, think about it and then read it again to make sure you knew what it was about. Awesome vocabulary. I love the words creation, and delved. you don't see them too often. it is a poem, describing a relationship without using the typical words that most writers use when they write a poem on this topic. you put in a beautiful way, and you let the reader think, which most poets of our age, don't allow their readers to do. I absolutely love it.
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Wow... Very well written...
:D Thank you so much!
Francis-Gray Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely wonderful poem, a perfect blend of voice and imagery. I am most certainly in envy of your talent!
:D Gosh, thank you so much <3
PrussianPersephone Sep 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well shit.

Raw in more than one sense.
The ending packs a punch, and the rest has lovely imagery. Well done.
:tighthug: Thank you so much!
Gorgeously written! The last line was especially wonderfully done! :clap:
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