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Submitted on
April 6
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Shoes chatter,
they converse in skateparks
and rub rubbers
behind bike sheds.

They clutter,
clip and staccato
in stilettos in the office
as workers file in
for filing.

They clamour,
squeak,
the undeveloped shoe voices
of children,
as sole meets corridor
skidding into class.

Another day begins,
with the news of the night before
scuffed into the pavement
as shoes chatter.
Like a shoe box, you see?

unattainableMuse - this ones for you!
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:iconlegolaspanther:
To begin with the originality of this work is definitely evident. There is thought and precision on where each bit of poetry is going to go.

The onomatopoeia and personification in this work is immensely well done! On top of it all, the mix and mingle of alliteration creates another power to the poem. The visions and movements there provide a clear and concise picture of the event occurring.

In complete conclusion of this work, I found it both readable and excitable as well. To add, there was aught to correct in anything, which is very well done.

Sincerely

~Legolas
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014
Thanks pretty!!
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Converse, haha! :lmao: I love the imagery (is it still imagery if it's with sound?) I can hear it very well.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014
hehe, I think so, or musicality. 
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:iconkillerlord123:
killerlord123 Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014
Such a clever poem. I like it :)
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014
yay! haha :D awesome!
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:iconkillerlord123:
killerlord123 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014
:)
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:iconliammcgee:
LiamMcGee Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm extremely fond of this poem, there's great wit to it.

Very impressive!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014
haha, thank you!! yay!
Reply
:iconghostinafog:
ghostinafog Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014
that's adorable :heart:
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