Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconbloodshotink: More from BloodshotInk


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
May 28, 2013
File Size
1.6 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
423
Favourites
46 (who?)
Comments
21
Downloads
0
×
Took double the dose to watch the ceiling spin,
think about all the mistakes in my life again.
Gaze up and try not to cry tonight;
wake up to the way the stars shine so bright
but I
don't
don't
don't.

I lie and take in the plaster
God knows what it is that I'm after
but it's
not
here.
I lie and shake and cry til it's over
then I try to move to the sofa
'cos it's
not here
and I'd rather be anywhere else.

As the world starts to blur there's no one but me
and I let my life slip indifferently
and if you were here, you'd not say goodbye
you'd catch all my tears and then you would sigh
and say
don't
don't
don't.

I lie and take in the plaster
God knows what it is that I'm after
but it's
not
here.
I lie and shake and cry til it's over
then I try to move to the sofa
'cos it's
not here
and I'd rather be anywhere else.

When days are hectic and filled with emotion
all I desire is to stop the commotion
but nights are so lonely, life is so dreary
and I see the dark things so very clearly
and I
won't
won't
wont

lie and take in the plaster
forever and ever for all ever after
it's
not
here.
I'll lie and cry and cry til it's over
then I might make it to the sofa
'cos it's
not here
and I can be anywhere else.

I can be anywhere else
but it won't get better than this
Edited for proper punctuation and a better rhythm.
Add a Comment:
 

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think it's not here says so much more than a thousand words.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
Nods :tighthug:
Reply
:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist
oh i like this one =)
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Professional Writer
Wonderful lyrical quality to it...
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:icondragonschest:
DragonsChest Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Professional Writer
:icongivemesmilesplz::iconwelcome1plz::iconwelcome2plz::iconwelcome3plz::iconwelcome4plz:
Reply
:iconfoxofebony:
FoxofEbony Featured By Owner May 29, 2013
Amazing :D your rhyme is brilliant and really helps the poem flow :)
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
:love: Thanks! I don't rhyme often
Reply
:iconfoxofebony:
FoxofEbony Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
You're welcome :D You should rhyme more often you do it brilliantly :D
Reply
Add a Comment: