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I have never loved you.

I did not love you from that misty
September morning when we met.
I did not love you the first moment
I gazed into those saccharine eyes.

I have never, in fact, loved the roughness
in your soft voice when it says my name.
I have never loved the look on your face
when you smile over your bagel at me.

I don't love the cocoa streaked in your hair
or the way it ruffles its feathers upright
when you fall from your warm bed-nest,
half asleep, vulnerable and shy in the morning.

I do not love you.

I did not love you in that very moment
when your breath snagged against my lip
as it finally brushed yours - no, I did not.
I did not love you the first, second, or last time.

Listen to me carefully, my sweet -
I have never loved you, I will never love you.
I will not love you until my very last breath
and the absences of breath beyond that.

I will never love you for all that makes you
the warm, compassionate fighter in my corner.
I won't accept you for all your innocent flaws
and love you for all that you are, and could be.

I cannot love you.

I have never loved you
since the first time I laid my eyes on you.
This is a rewrite of an old old poem called Finding Neverlove. I found that people didn't understand right away that it is supposed to be read as a love poem. So I worked with `LadyLincoln, `thetaoofchaos, ~nightshade-keyblade, *ithaswhatitisnt, *bloodawni, *akkajess, *chromeantennae and `IrrevocableFate tonight in #TheLadiesofLit as part of my The Ladies of Lit chat night. I have to thank these guys they helped me so much with one of my old favourites so I really hope that this draft is understood and loved. :love:

♥ Kathryn O'Driscoll © 2013

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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
This is quite amazing!
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
:D Thank you!
Reply
:iconarwynandcole:
ArwynandCole Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Someone is seriously fooling him/herself!  I do love this!
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
:giggle: You got it! Yay!
Reply
:iconarwynandcole:
ArwynandCole Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Boogie! Boogie! 
Reply
:iconeraven77:
ERaven77 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I got it. Actually I knew someone once that properly would have put it that way.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
:giggle: Awesome
Reply
:iconeraven77:
ERaven77 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sometimes you be surprised how many people do get something. On the other hand I am also surprised how many don't. Especially when it is clearly visible...
Reply
:iconeraven77:
ERaven77 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I got it. Actually I knew someone once that properly would have put it that way.
Reply
:iconeraven77:
ERaven77 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I got it. Actually I knew someone once that properly would have put it that way.
Reply
:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013   Writer
Splendid poem. Really love how it plays out in a sort of reverse-psychological means. Great use in repetition in regards to "do not love", but what makes this stand out to me is the descriptive imagery present in"cocoa streaked hair", and "absences of breath". Plus great flow makes this easy on the eye and sumptuous to read aloud. Couldn't ask for a finer read to start the day.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013
:D Thank you, it was a rewrite after I had it workshopped on DA, I felt that if the desccriptions were more detailed then the reverse statements would be more apparent. :D
Reply
:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013   Writer
You're welcome. I've never attempted a workshop on DA. Possibly because I don't have the free time or the patience. My writings are spontaneous and I prefer to press forward rather than stumble back. I learnt principally through trial and error. Indeed re-writing did allow the reverse to become more noticeable I think. :D
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
:giggle: I don't like to edit but as part of `LadyLincoln's Ladies of Lit interview we had to allow people to critique our works. It was scary but I enjoyed i t. Now I'm in a creative writing degree I'm focusing on learning editing skills.
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013
I don't love the cocoa streaked in your hair
or the way it ruffles its feathers upright
when you fall from your warm bed-nest,
half asleep, vulnerable and shy in the morning.

I love this whole thing, but that stanza in particular. :heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013
:love: Squeee! Thank you Dis :D
Reply
:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013
I don't love the cocoa streaked in your hair
or the way it ruffles its feathers upright
when you fall from your warm bed-nest,
half asleep, vulnerable and shy in the morning.

I love this whole thing, but that stanza in particular. :heart:
Reply
:iconuntamedunwanted:
UntamedUnwanted Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your lovely work was featured here untamedunwanted.deviantart.com…!
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013
thank you!! I'm sorry I didnt reply earlier. FLU OF DEATH. <3
Reply
:iconghoststalker11:
ghoststalker11 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
very good.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2013
Thank you :rose:
Reply
:iconwingedegggo:
WingedEggGo Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is really pretty, but i'm kind of ashamed to say I don't get it.
is this literally about someone who does not love the other
or is it about someone trying to deny that they are in love
because the whole "i do not love you" thing makes it seem like the first one, but the close attention to detail and description is making me think the second.

Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
It's like talking in code. Both the narrator and the person they are talking to know that the negatives aren't real (double negatives cancel each other out). I've been in some weird fucking relationships including one where a guy insisted he wasn't in love with me until we broke up when he realised he did... sometimes communication is hard...  this is meant to be a love poem though (and not to that guy!) lol
Reply
:iconwingedegggo:
WingedEggGo Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh wow! haha i see what you mean, thanks. It's very clever, and very well done! :D
Reply
:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
absolutely gorgeous. i felt this on a very personal level, and you really made it so wonderful.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
:)) Thank you! I am so glad you enjoyed this :}
Reply
:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
it's wonderful, as usual :heart:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
:love: :))
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well done. :heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
<33 thank you!
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! <3
Reply
:iconpuddha1988:
Puddha1988 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is haunting. I like this, well done. 
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
yay! (and also phew) thank you!
Reply
:icondawnandrew:
dawnandrew Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
sounds like exactly what i felt :iconsadsighplz:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
:tighthug:
Reply
:icondawnandrew:
dawnandrew Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbrohugplz:
Reply
:iconlupus-astra:
lupus-astra Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aaaaand this is kind of perfect. My favorite type of love poem.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
giggles, yay! This is a reworking of a concept I wrote a few years ago that didn't quite hit the mark. So I'm thrilled people get it this time.
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to unfav this so I can fav it again and again and again. :heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
:love: Oh thank you. I know that feeling, and its rare for me, so thank you!!
Reply
:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome, lovely.
Reply
:icononedreamonemoon:
OneDreamOneMoon Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
This hit me in a soft spot, spots I don't have many of.
Good job Heart
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
:D Well then it's worth more! Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconcskadoz:
cskadoz Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013   General Artist
:clap: x 1000
:hug: keep telling yourself, babe.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
:D thank you so much!
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The fruits of your labour are sweet! :highfive:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
yayyy :D
Reply
:iconeat-toast:
EAT-TOAST Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student Writer
omnomnom... they sure are :P delicious
Reply
:iconjaygrl22:
Jaygrl22 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Phew :phew: Thank you so so much!
Reply
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September 29, 2013
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