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Simply beautiful. I can play out the words you are saying in my head and the image is a very vivid, dramatic, and captivating one. You really play with the readers imagination. So far I have not read any poems with such great wording: your poem is definitely original. I gave you 4 out of 5 stars for technique because it seems like it can be added on too; regardless of how long it is it is still amazing. As for the impact, I really felt chills and this good vibe pulsate through me as I read along to this.