That extraordinary pain of reality... when you tell someone they are beautiful that they are beautiful, and give silence to those who are not.
For the record, this poem isn't about this guy, and I hope he never sees it because its truly not about him or his life, and I'm not going to name him or share who he is... this poem is about how I feel about myself.
I have binge eating disorder, there I finally told you guys. I dont want to talk about it because Ive only started tentatively mentioning it to people and havent really talked about it seriously with anyone yet (Im going to try and do that when I go home this week) - but my point is, with the binge eating, and knowing someone who hates themselves the way I do except they ARE beautiful, and I'm not... it makes the temptation to purge much more intense.. and I am frightened of losing the little control I have in my life.
I dont know what the fuck Im doing any more.
DISCLAIMER: Kids, eating disorders are bad mmkay? Not glamarous, not a shortcut to happiness, or thinness, or the boy or girl you want. It just doesnt work and fucks you up physically, mentally and emotionally. Just dont.