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[ I met him at the county fair.
It wasn't like the songs predicted;
I had mud up my shins and he
had grass in his hair. What a mess. ]

[ I kissed him at my grandma's house.
He swallowed me and digested me;
I became a part of his simmering self.
We fused together, and I died. ]

[ I married him in a triangular church,
When I turned up in white he grinned
and whispered "what, no muddy knees?".
I put a leaf from my bouquet in his hair. ]

[ He kissed her at my grandma's house.
She had left it to us when she passed.
In the house where I'd learned about love
he taught me all I know about betrayal. ]

[ He left me at the train station.
I'd helped him with his leather suitcase,
struggling to get a grip of the situation
I gave a habitual kiss goodbye. Awkward. ]

[ He met another girl in group therapy.
They had a mad, passionate affair for a year
then, it expired. Shortly after, she did too.
He came to me, life turning to sand. ]

[ I forgave him at my birthday party
surrounded by friends who told me not to.
I told him he'd never make it up to me,
still, he tried, every day, til he died. ]
Claymation contest entry

I read through *TheAutumnCrocus's description of her contest which is inspired by claymation and a part of the definition struck me;

"Each frame, or still picture, is recorded on film or digital media and then played back in rapid succession. When played back at a frame rate greater than 10–12 frames per second, a fairly convincing illusion of continuous motion is achieved."

It seemed to me that you could record a life that way, with key events. After all our lives are not continuous events and actions, there are pauses between them, but if you take all the major events of your life and put them all in a row, you'd have a fairly convincing illusion of continuous motion, wouldn't you?


Thanks *TheAutumnCrocus for inspiring this :heart:.
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:iconlookinatstufff:
LookinAtStufff Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013
It's really amazing and beautifully written, but it's also sad. But then again i guess thats kinda like what life is like, it's amazing and beautiful  but sad at the same time.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013
Nods, thats what I felt too
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:iconvalasedai:
ValaSedai Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This work has been featured in
:star: BEST OF: dA-Supporters group - 57 :star:
by #deviantARTSupporters

:heart:
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner May 1, 2013   General Artist
this is just such a splendid piece, excellently executed entry as well! :heart:
congratulations! :squee:
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:iconaurora9912:
Aurora9912 Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are such an amazing talent.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner May 1, 2013
:blush: THANK YOU!
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Student Writer
Wow, that's... amazing.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013
Yay :phew:
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:iconcontradictory55:
Contradictory55 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Student Writer
:clap:
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:iconclouded-rachel:
Clouded-Rachel Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Student Writer
Hello from Feedback Friends!

First off, I would just like to say that this is a lovely piece of literature. I like the visual it paints in my mind, and I loved how it followed through in chronological order. The last stanza wraps everything up nicely with an ending the reader will remember.

However, the flow of this poem is a bit odd. I understand it's free verse, but some lines seem long and awkward for me to read, and disrupted the flow and visual of the poem. For example, the last line in some of the stanzas, such as "had grass in his hair. What a mess." I think if you moved 'what a mess' to its own line below, the poem would flow better.

Overall, lovely job on the poem! Good luck in the contest. :)
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013
Thanks Rachel! I will keep that in mind :D
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:icontruemiszou:
TrueMiszou Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I kinda liked that you messed with the flow. It meant I had to stop and think about what was said, if you know what I mean?
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:iconathazagoraphobias:
Athazagoraphobias Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderfully done, by the way. Without claymation in mind, it is quite beautiful and heart wrenching.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
Aw thank you so much <33
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:iconathazagoraphobias:
Athazagoraphobias Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Perhaps that's why claymation terrifies me. D:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013
:giggle: Really?
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:iconathazagoraphobias:
Athazagoraphobias Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You have no idea. ;____;
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
This is so wonderful I almost couldn't read it. Waves of emotion with each transition, thinking of and feeling that passing time. Amazing, beautiful work, and I am SO HAPPY that the contest inspired you! :squee: :happybounce: :iconlawooplz:
:iconlainloveplz:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
:giggle: Gosh! Thank you :blush: :blush:
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:iconautumnlit:
autumnlit Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
:tighthug:
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:iconme-molester:
me-molester Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013  Professional Filmographer
Great! love it! structure was perfectly executed. easy to imagine and very interesting.^^
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2013
Grins, I'm really glad you enjoyed this!
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:iconkazul9:
Kazul9 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013   Writer
Wow, what a wonderful take on the theme of that contest. Truly beautiful, and so emotionally captivating. Thank you. :) I knew I had to fave it from the second section.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Thank you! I am happy with how this turned out too
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is great, a unique way of doing a poem, and really enjoyable. :heart:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Thank you! :D
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:iconcamelopardalisinblue:
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Always welcome, lovely.
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this. A really realistic portrait of a relationship. And I really loved your use of italics...sometimes I think those can get overused, but you just did it perfectly here.

Also, and I know everyone else has said this too haha, but this really is an interesting interpretation of claymation!

:+favlove:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Gosh thank you so much! I am really happy that I got random inspiration from it! haha
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:iconsleepy-kisses:
sleepy-kisses Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow, this is like stunning to me. I really like this one. Instant favorite.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
Yay! thank you so much :>
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like the way you depicted this - snapshots giving the illusion of movement is probably the best way to describe the way I imagined this. I also like how perspective shifted at points of the poem - the same way a film might shift its camera angle to another character.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
:D Thanks ! That is a wonderful way to describe it :D
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:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Happy to hear my comments pleased you :D
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:iconnekonekogirl997:
NekoNekoGirl997 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I absolutely adore this. More of this style, please! Try, perhaps, a friend ship that blooms to romance between two people who would've hated each other if they hadnt met at a time that they needed someone?
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013
:giggle: why don't you give it a go? :D
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:iconnekonekogirl997:
NekoNekoGirl997 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh, I've never been quite well off with such styles.. But I'll try on your behalf. I apologize if your eyes bleed.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
:giggle:
Reply
:iconfantasylover103:
fantasylover103 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, it's so rich and beautiful........
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
:blush: Thank you!!
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:iconfantasylover103:
fantasylover103 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh no problem! :3
Reply
:iconveronicle:
veronicle Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this explains soo many marriges (spellfail XD )
its very beautiful kat
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
:giggle: Thank you so much :}
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:iconveronicle:
veronicle Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
not a problem
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:iconcabres:
Cabres Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
Great work, Kath. This work is nice. Especially with the square brackets being the frames for your segments. It allows for each segment to fully represent that emotion or shift of emotions. It's a pretty damned love that was expressed, here. What's interesting is the connection of how death is contained in a lot of those frames. Is it based on a story/show/movie, imagination or actual life? Strong piece, dynamically constructed.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
Smiles, thank you, yes that was the idea of the brackets, providing a physical frame to contain each moment within. :]

It's not based on anything in particular, but I have experienced a lot of death in my life and that tends to seep into things when I'm not looking.

Thank you so much for your comment!
Reply
:iconcabres:
Cabres Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
Honestly, my condolences for the deaths that did take place in your life. It's good to see the work helps you through such losses.

Without a doubt, you're certainly welcome.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
Nods, thank you again :}
Reply
:iconsummerday27:
summerday27 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So intriguing. I love the story. In the end, i want to end up trusting the guy but he broke the girl's trust, haha. Such a interesting story though, and conveyed so beautifully. :heart:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013
:nod: Well I wanted to convey the passing of time too, when I was young I know I would never consider taking a guy back after that, but as I get older and see the fallible nature of everyone, I'm not sure how I would deal with it in the future.
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