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It permeates everything
It is the cells. It is the cell
in which I am rotting.

The sheen over my eye,
the flesh I rip from the side of my nail,
the teeth I grind it with.

The tears, blood and sweat.
It is below carbon and hydrogen,
embedded in the air I breathe.

It is sleeping under my fingernails,
It is the undeniable, genetic, atomic truth.
Oh, my oxygen permeates everything.

It is the cell.
This poem is about depression... about wearing misery in every molecule in your body. It is what you are, it is what you think, say, do, taste, smell, hear... it is everything.

I'm freaking out because I feel so low and I am not off my meds. That is a worrying development.


Icon for Hire - Iodine
"Depression's like a big fur coat,
it's made of dead things but it keeps me warm"

"I think I'm just in love with the feeling
Break my bones so I can feel them healing
"Crazy"'s, I believe, the medical term
When we wanna recover, but we don't wanna learn
Keep breaking what's been fixed a thousand times
And gimme some more of that iodine"

"But if we want to wake up,
Why we still singin' these lullabys?"
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:iconmountainmew:
MountainMew Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Student Writer
A brutally honest look on depression, and a very interesting read. I like it a lot.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2013
Thank you so much :tighthug:
Reply
:iconprosaic-scriptor:
Prosaic-Scriptor Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been there before. You really draw us into the experience.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013
Thank you! Obviously it's relatively easy for me to write about my own crazy mind
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: hope you are feeling better.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
bit by bit, day by day. How are you?
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
only way to go about it.

I'm doing fairly well, thanks :)
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Good :}
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
I'm going to have to agree with ~shehrozeameen
A very nice work, alas sadly a bit depressing.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
The letter "O" speaks out in this work... it is all encompassing, and yet it continues to constrict...

I just hope that you feel better soon... I hope so...
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Nods. Thank you, your comment was very insightful. I was thinking of O as the symbol for oxygen and a sound of distress and dissapointment. Very thoughtful visual elements from your ideas.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome... well... O is something that me and *NotenSMSK hold dear as writers...
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Clever kitties!
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013   General Artist
:tighthug:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
oh you!
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013   General Artist
:giggle:
Reply
:iconaurora9912:
Aurora9912 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Med needs change over time and with your body chemistry. Please be sure to follow up with your doctor regularly. I want to keep reading your thoughts for a long time to come.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
:nod:
Reply
:icona-lovely-anxiety:
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is lovely and so undeniably true that I couldn't even breathe while reading it. Wonderful as usual.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
:tighthug: Thank you so much. That's wonderful to hear. Truthfulness is the number one compliment I could recieve!
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconcomfortplz:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconouroborosragnarok:
OuroborosRagnarok Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
depression is so much a part of you that it is you. But you can try to control yourself. At least, that's what I try to tell myself to feel better. It doesn't always work. I think this is one of your best poems, btw. Out of the ones I've read at least.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Nods... maybe.

Thank you! I don't know about that. It didn't make my 'my best work' folder in my opinion haha
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:iconouroborosragnarok:
OuroborosRagnarok Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, out of what I've taken the time to read, it's your best. i'm sure you've done better. ;p
Reply
:iconstory-of-a-mind:
Story-of-a-Mind Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hope for you to find a way to brush off maggot-sodden feathers again and rise, into the air of which oxygen is only a minor part. I wish that though you might be surrounded by oxygen, the movement of your wings shall decide your path.
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Me too.... thank you so much.
Reply
:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
darling, I know you are strong and good enough to get through this! <3 this is what you have, but it is not who you are! you are so much more!
believe you are the light, not the darkness <3 you will get through it, really!
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
I hope so, some days it is a struggle to see
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:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I wish you very much strength, hope and love <3 it will be fine, dear, really!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
:tighthug: It's getting better. Thank you. How are you ?
Reply
:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that's very good news!
I'm good, thank you :) how are you?
<3
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
getting by thanks :}
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:iconwinterleave:
WinterLeave Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Good to hear that! <3
Reply
:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist
:hug:
Its ok every one gets low. Just dont let it defeat you. and if you need a hand to pick you up ill help you =)
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
:tighthug: you are a good friend.
Reply
:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist
I try to be =) sometimes i dont think i do a very good job
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
You do, alllllll the days :}
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:iconkuraitenshiv:
KuraiTenshiV Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist
=), thanks so much =)
Reply
:iconzevais:
Zevais Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist
I am spilling out.
My whole body, every part of me.
there's Something is burning within.

I see my own twisted structure.
It retracts my skin and bares my tooth and nail.
Everything I taste is tainted.

I dry heave and shake.
Surrounded by phosphorus and chlorine gas,
I feel it in my DNA.

It feel it rise in my sleeping hours,
this periodic, chain binding, nuclear tide.
My yellow sickness and smell of rot.

a sulfuric organism...
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
:nod:
Reply
:iconveronicle:
veronicle Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i understand ... :iconseriousnodplz:
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
:tighthug: I'm sorry
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:iconveronicle:
veronicle Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
its okay :icondragonglomp:
Reply
:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It sucks that you're going through that :c I know how it feels and I hatehatehate it.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Nods. Me too
Reply
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