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Submitted on
February 20, 2013
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50 (who?)
See the sharpness of my tongue-nib
As the metallic taste in my mouth draws out
A barking cough, forced out
By the dirty nicotine lining my lungs.

See the blade of stubbornness
That slices across my cheek bone;
An amalgamation  of all the times you pushed me.

See the residue in my eyes,
The remnants of all those times you forced me
And I forced myself not to cry;
Those tears condensed into a thick blinding syrup
That colours all things red.

See the crinkle in my nose,
The wrinkles on my heart
As I remember how you didn't love me. (Don't love me).

See the burns on my psalms
And fingerprints singed off
By all the times you called me nothing.

See the manacles, the barnacles
The mutations and tumours.
See the invisible scars of the Battle of Us.
There are capitalisation issues here because I'm posting this from a cafe. Will edit them later today or tomorrow.

I wrote this thinking about all the invisible scars I have from past relationships. How I respond quite strongly if someone tries to emotionally manipulate me because of a relationship in which I was emotionally abused. How I don't really like sex because of a relationship in which I was forced. How I have all the remainder of all the bad parts of those relationships still swimming around in my lungs.

It prompted this and another poem which I will work on later.

I dunno. Just regrets.
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sherbetblooms Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Terribly sad. I know what this is like and it feels good to leave them behind in your writings. 3rd strophe was my fave.
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013
Mines the last. :nod:
Kazul9 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013   Writer
Oh, wow. :hug: I'm sorry this reflects what's actually happened to you. You did an absolutely beautiful job expressing it, though. Thank you for sharing. :)
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
:tighthug: Thank you for your positive response
Kazul9 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013   Writer
X3 You're welcome!
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
... *oww*... You've come a long way... This work prompted me into reading the comment you gave me earlier... which was your biography (an answer to a journal entry whose title I can't remember).

Its subtle, and definitely something which requires some time to digest. For the most part, though - its a brave work.
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
Nods, thank you so much, goodness. I am speechless.
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*hug* stay happy.
Michaeldavitt Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013  Professional Writer
This resonates with me, one question was it the Biblical Psalms that were burned?

I hope you find better relationships in the future so you can write about the bright side
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
The psalms thing mainly happened because when ~DeaconStrucktor faves any of my literature he puts it in a folder called Psalms and Sermons and its been in my mind for a couple of weeks, and this play on the two meanings here seemed fitting.

I have plenty of poems about the bright side :giggle: it's a pretty even split I think.
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