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Submitted on
February 5
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We are the evening, you and I.
Both painted in our sunday blacks
as mourning breaks upon us.
You are the vast, intense expanse
of a taurine sky dribbling crystals
that hang on invisible threads
from the deep blue smile of the galaxy.

You are those dead, iron-eating stars,
refracting beauty through dead air,
and blurring the edges until
no one can tell where beauty starts
and the spaces inbetween begin,
people gaze at you and forget -
forget - forget how empty spaces are.

You are layer upon layer of small lights
that combine to prick holes
in the darkness that keeps them awake.
That’s what you are, you are
the atmosphere and far beyond.
The bow of a universe wrapped tight
around the world, to hold it together.

I am a dark black lake gripping its shores
too tightly, and flooding them often.
I am a bottomless hole overfilled,
overwhelmed, unable to get over you,

but as I swill and slurry - as I stew -
as I remember contributing to something,
being a drop in the ocean, once -
as I remember feeling normal, safe, sane

I am still a dark and bottomless lake
overwhelmed and unable to get over
your image projected onto my unstable face
saturating all I am with inescapable light.
We are the evening, you and I -
you are the ink of an evening being written
and I the bleak smudge of a day poorly wrote.
Oh and I repurposed Taurine to mean a dark deep midnight inky blue. Because I wanted to and I think ti works as that.
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:iconanartistscorner:
Truth be told, I was so encased and memorized in the poem that I had to look twice at your title as I was taken down a very different road. My dear! Your words are beautiful, and you give such life to scenes that even I was suprised I saw!

The one thing that I saw most valuable to your work was your use of adjectives and the wide range at that! It definitely breathed more than life into this painting. The use of "taurine"? I haven't heard that word in such a long time, and I feel that specific colors definitely help in putting pieces of the picture together.

Hands down, one of the best works I have read on dA in a long time.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconeventua:
An excellent piece with a good use of imagery. I particularly like how the symbolism used is related to things like darkness and water (which when in large quantities becomes dark, oppressive and cold) - which is obviously quite fitting for a poem about sadness caused by, I'm assuming, the changing relationship between two friends (maybe lovers?) who have both lost a third, mutual friend in death.

It flows very well and is generally quite easy to follow, and yet occasionally it went over my head till reading it again, particularly near the beginning where 'mourning' is used as both 'mourning' and 'morning'. Mind you, that isn't a purely negative criticism! I quite liked that there was that aspect of 'read a second time or more to get it all' (something I'd like to achieve, but haven't yet).

Ultimately, I liked it a lot! Keep it up.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icon6-9changeling:
6-9Changeling Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful imagery!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
Thanks!
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:icon6-9changeling:
6-9Changeling Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconkaylinkia:
KaylinKia Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
Absolutely mesmerizing >.< this took my breath away!
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014
:love: Thank you hon!
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:iconkillerlord123:
killerlord123 Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
It brings beautiful images to my mind :)
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
:) I'm so glad!
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:iconkillerlord123:
killerlord123 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
:)
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:iconelianoretta:
elianoretta Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
that's beautiful
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:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2014
:) Thanks
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