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Submitted on
June 17


840 (1 today)
72 (who?)
What about those thursday mornings
when you'd wake up and find your ribcage door
swung open again by the nightmares
with an owl nesting, and pecking at your heart muscle?
What about those thursday mornings
and having to fold your elbows around your knees
to stop yourself from losing anything important
as the mechanics shook and shook you
and the pain cracked you, bones and blisters?

What about those tuesday afternoons
when you hear that familiar sound that makes you cry,
that hissing noise that warns you of upcoming agony
and you can taste it in your mouth again, so familiar -
what about those tuesday afternoons
when you swallow your words and the drugs
to try and stop it from coming back
but it returns just the same and against your will
you hear yourself still breathing?

What about it?

What about those hazy sunday evenings
when the fine line between oh-god-make-it-stop
and please-god-let-it-end gets blurry somehow
and you don't remember how much you drank, or what?
What about those desperate monday mornings
when blue lights highlight blue veins
and your blue mood turns black because you know
that you didn't take enough?

What about those thrilling wednesdays when
for a fraction of a second someone makes you laugh
and you forget, like clockwork you forget,
and you don't even hear your heart tick-tick-ticking away
the fractured moments of the thrilling wednesday when
for a moment you forgot that everybody leaves or dies,
except you - because you have to live on in purgatory, in agony,
for what you did, for being born, for being broken?

What about it?  

Tell me about those beautifully painted saccharine slate days then.
I want to see you expose yourself to the reality of a life turned sour,
want to see your veins open to the elements
and full of the dust and grit of a hard day digging yourself out of the hole.
I want to taste mud in your blood, and see tears in your shoes.
Be real with me, and tell me, tell me all about it.
This is about my reality, no one elses. I can't speak for anyone else but me. This is what it was like for me not being able to leave my house for seven and a half years.

If you are in a similar place, I just want you to know that you can claw your way out. It breaks all your fingernails, your bones, your will, but its possible. I just finished my first year of a degree as a mature student. Every day is still hard, but I do it anyway. Keep clawing.
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This piece is so beautifully written, I can hear every word. I can see every word. Painted beautifully through every haunting line, every descriptive sentence, it is inspirational and dark. It's one of those things that anybody can relate to, everybody can fear, and everybody can love. Once in a blue moon, a poem like this can be beautiful, but true, and so, so descriptive all at once. You read this like you read a good book, slowly, slowly, and then you restart it. Keep up the good work, I can tell you put a lot of thought in to this. :)
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prettyflour Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been Featured in my journal!…

Heart Heart Heart Heart 
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
Thank you hon <3
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014   General Artist
right in the feels, sweetheart. :tighthug:
bloody beautiful is what you are and what your work will always be. :heart:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No! Today's a Thursday!
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014
GuinevereToGwen Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2014  Student Writer
I love the structure, how you've separated the poem by weekday, and how the days aren't in order, like they sort of all bleed together. Gosh, I just love EVERYTHING about this. :heart:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014
:blush: Thank you Gwen! :love: So happy you enjoyed this!
NightmareWolf123 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It is amazing how well you can express these things. I am lost under the surface of a ocean of lies and shadows covered by a mist of misunderstanding, and I am finally reaching the point I can escape because of you. I am trying to murder the lies and light the shadows, and breaking the misunderstanding, showing the world what must be shared that is hidden by each lie spoken. You have inspired me to finally stand up and show the world what it has done to innocent people.
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2014
Thank you so much, blushes, you are so sweet. This is ^ the very reason why I continue to share my work on this site.
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