Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconbloodshotink: More from BloodshotInk


Featured in Collections

Writings by Ravenshymn

Writing by MatieuCanadaWilliams


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
December 8, 2013
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
683
Favourites
59 (who?)
Comments
21
×
Your eyelashes fall
on tablecloth cheekbones;
fine, white linen,
heavily pressed
to an unsustainable point.

Your tears spill
and stain the cloth,
cheetah spots
of grey, of grey,
spoiling that unattainable dream.
I definitely just saw the words eyelash and tablecloth in a preview for a deviation as I was clearing out my inbox but I'd already hit delete before my brain processed it - if you know who wrote it please lemme know so I can create it for sparking this off.

Edit: Inspired by
Add a Comment:
 

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'll let you know what I understood from this poem:

Stanza 1

The person... because of the noticeable linen that has been stretched to that extent as it has, is for me... indicating (probably) a person who has died, or is undergoing some sort of therapy. In essence, the person's going to start dying soon... or is eventually passing life somehow.

Stanza 2

Here, its the post trauma of that therapy which that person is somehow... not going good at all... That's what I feel... its as if the person is corroding. In essence, the person is dead inside, and there's no way out...

:shrug: Or, alternatively:

Stanza 1:

Barney the dinosaur decided that he looked like an ape and he decided on becoming bald

Stanza 2:

Barney the dinosaur got his ass handed to him.
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013
That's interesting :giggle: !
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
lol Indeed :)
Reply
:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is absolutely fantastic. The imagery is mindblowing
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
Oh thank you! I try! :D
Reply
:iconcskadoz:
cskadoz Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013   General Artist
:hug: vivid and telling -- very well writ!
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
Thank you so so much!
Reply
:iconsingagainsoon:
singagainsoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this is absolutely lovely. for some reason, it reminds me of the great gatsby, especially the "unattainable dream" part. i love it :heart:
Reply
:iconbloodshotink:
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
aw thank you!! :D
Reply
:iconaldwarke:
aldwarke Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013
I don't know whether you are referring to a poem submitted to DA or to something from published poets. In case it's the latter here is a website called PoemHunter.com which is good at searching from bits of information.
Reply
Add a Comment: